bad decisions

3 weeks ago i caught bronchitis. smarty that i am, when things got bad i went to the NP and was prescribed some cough syrup, antibiotics, and told to take good care of myself. idiot that i am, i didn't really listen and continued living the life of a rockstar/nurse. one night i started laughing so hard it turned into a cough and just wouldn't stop. i ended up separating cartilage from the bone in 2 of my ribs.
this is what bad decisions feel like.

off the map

last week i watched INTO THE WILD. it was a good movie with beautiful shots but ultimately i came away feeling: i could never be that dude.

before i digress, let's send some peace and happiness to his family who miss him.

driving home yesterday to richmond, traffic was heavy and stressing me out. i decided to utilize my GPS machine and take some sweet back roads.

gorgeous, right? before i knew it, i was in the middle of jefferson national forest on a dirt road with no cell phone service. the first 15 minutes were pure beauty and enjoyment. thirty minutes in i had the thought that a weaker woman would be crying. i was off the map and i got nervous: what if something happened to my car? when would i be found if something happened to me? no one knew i was taking this back road (if it could even be called that). i tried to focus on driving safely and how beautiful the forest was. i put on some tunes to try and calm down. finally, i passed another car that clearly possessed an errant GPS as well. i was so happy i took a picture:after 45 endless minutes, i popped out of the forest and was on a paved road! with cars!! i immediately pulled over to a scenic overlook to call my brother.


next time i'm off the map, i need to be better prepared.

mandolin madness

sometimes i think about what i could add to my life that would make it even better. lots of time, i think learning to play the mandolin would fit the bill. really this all started a few years ago and reached a fevered pitched when i heard chris thile's "wayside (back in time)". while i haven't started playing the mandolin yet, i still think it will probably happen in the near future. maybe 5 years.

yippeeeee

a series of pictures

in florida a few years ago...

take 1:
me: hahaha. jim, mom looks like she hates you
jim: unbelievable. take it again

take 2:
jim: now who looks like they don't want to be here?

these plants are siblings

we probably couldn't tell but they can. turns out chemical signaling/love happens in plants too and they will share their space with relatives and not try to out-compete. kinda like these kids:

whoosh

this week was really hard on me emotionally, mostly because i am so new at dealing with traumas and codes in the hospital. so much sadness made my heart hurt a lot for other people and for the world we live in. i think it is part of the growing process - maybe i am stretching my heart out for more love in the future.

i do want to say this to anyone who is reading this and may not see loss as graphically or as frequently as those of us at the hospital:

be gentle with each other
give and show lots of love
believe in hope

in the end, i am not sure anything matters more. in those last moments - between calling loudly for whatever meds and tools we need - that is what is spoken of, what is given, and what i hope is also taken between this world and the next.

monday night dinner

lasagna lover = me

everyone just relax

i believe in biological diversity. so should you. for this reason i signed up for the Center of Biological Diversity's email list. my lastest email came with this subject line:

HELP SAVE WALRUS FROM MASSIVE STAMPEDE DEATH

i'd love to.

happy halloween

hope yours was wickedly wonderful. mine definitely was, mixed with lots of rain.